Who knew that this would happen to me again?
And as so soon as that?!
Like a truck hitting a pedestrian with headphones –
And here I am again.
Now I want to cry
but the well has run dry,
and the waterfalls have become dry, bare cliffs,
although I only want to cry.
How was I supposed to know that I would end up loving you?
How was I supposed to know I’d see you as the smile
plastered onto my face after every late night chinwag online?
How was I supposed to know you’d be the hero to save me
during that cruel Winter’s month when nobody else was there?
This is not my fault,
nor is it yours either.
here I am again.
And not one tear am I able to shed as I break myself
to be rebuilt once again.
Only difference is that this time round I won’t have you by my side.
I forgave you for all,
just got sick of waiting around for the Spring to arrive,
feeding off the false hope of new bloom
whilst my hear had still remained a frozen sliver of ice.
I believed that you had thawed it,
I had believed that the others had to –
Hell, maybe they had,
and I didn’t know a thing about it.
Now a frozen block of ice.
It is time again that I must break my own heart,
for it is something that would never be able to belong to you.
So, I must carry out the deed,
to be renewed again.
And find a new hope…
I just cannot go on this way anymore.
Still I fear –
For the last time I broke my own hear,
my soul had been crushed along with it…
A billion shards of dark oblivion and despair,
here I am come again.
At least this way I will be able to grow again,
and I pray that some day soon that when I think back on you,
I will smile with delight at the times we shared.
It just got to a point where they were not enough
for either of us.
How was I supposed to know that I would fall for you?
How was I supposed to know that letting go of you
would also feel like losing a part of me?
How was I supposed to know that in the end I would have to lose you,
like I had lost all those, too?
Don’t get me wrong,
you are amazing and we had some fun.
But I have also come to far to move back all those months.
Neither of us good for each other right now,
we both have things we need to figure out.
So, maybe someday we will reunite,
and we will smile and shake hands and call each other friends…
But for now I must go on,
I’m sorry I have to go.
But it hurts me so much to have to let you go.
I feel ashamed and I feel lost.
Though I know,
if I give anymore if myself to you,
I shall not have anything left for me at all.
Please, forgive me, dear friend.
I hope you understand my truth,
there are still others who love you so,
just open your heart to them and to new hope.
Allow rebirth to commence
and do not shut out the light.
How was I supposed to know that I would have to let you go?
Who knows if we’ll will find our ways back to each other?
But for now we must find ourselves.
I must live my life and you must live yours.
How was I supposed to know I would have loved you so?