Stupid.

Burden.

Alone.

Ah, old friend,

Dear friend – my only friend.

Not completely alone, not completely abandoned.

The cold sliver of steel.

The excitement! – the thrill…

 

Consumed.

Deserted.

Still abandoned.

Alone…

No, not alone.

Warm, dripping, ruby venom.

 

Make a tally,

write a word,

draw a picture.

I love you – I hate you –

say goodbye.

 

I’ve been terrible,

horrible, a bad person –

a shit friend.

 

I had vowed never to see you again.

I am weaker than I believed.

Much…much weaker.

 

Oh, happy blade, sinister yet happy blade.

My life is gone,

One stroke of the brush and I shall have my last

goodbye.

 

Do I stay – or do I die?

Maybe, just a punishment.

Feel the pain of harm to not feel the pain of sorrow.

 

I can’t hurt myself again.

I don’t want to hurt myself again.

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