Let’s talk about sexuality. I never really had somebody to talk to much about this stuff in my life so far, many don’t and that’s unfair.

So what is “sexuality”? According to the Oxford English Dictionary it is:


1 [mass noun] Capacity for sexual feelings.

1.1 [count noun] A person’s sexual orientation or preference.

1.2 Sexual activity.

The thing about sexuality is that there are many different strands of sexual orientation, and I mean a fucking ridiculous amount, believe me (not at all that this is a bad thing, it’s just a complicated thing)! I’m not going to go through all of them as they all tend to get very confusing and difficult to explain and will go on for hundreds-upon-hundreds of pages…

The main strands, as I see it:

L – lesbian (homosexual women, a woman who is sexually attracted to women).

G – gay/homosexual (in this instance it means homosexual men – being attracted to men – however, the term can also be used to describe homosexual women and really means being attracted to someone of the same sex).

B – bisexual (being attracted to both men and women).

T – transgender (a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex).

Heterosexual – straight (being attracted to the opposite sex).

Asexual – when you are not sexually attracted to anything/anyone.

Like I said, there are many different types. As I see it these are the main strands which break down sexuality into its simplest forms, allowing society a better understanding of its many concepts.

Sure, I believe each individual person has a subjective view of their own feelings towards their sexuality and therefore it would be wrong for others to impose their own views on others that undermine the meaning to the individual. Wordy, right? That’s because sexuality is a big ball of tangled twine, or like when you take your headphones out of your bag and it’s all in a big twisted knot.

Basically, you will have your own feelings towards your sexuality, others will have their own views on how they perceive their sexuality. These may not always match up, hence the other thousand terms for all those other thousand types of sexuality. Therefore if someone says they are pansexual to society it may seem like a fancy way of saying bisexual as it’s makes the concept seem much more complicated. For a pansexual person they know what their sexuality means to them, and this may not necessarily be like bisexuality. They have their own take on it as is their right to do so as they have to live with it.

Interestingly, there is the debate about whether a person chooses to be gay or if it’s natural. See, now I’m going to level with you. I don’t think people choose to be gay or be seen as different when it comes to specific aspects of life (however, this is only my opinion and there are, I’m assuming many others who would disagree with my view as is also their right). Why? People get bullied pretty badly in most cases for being gay. I mean even now in the 21st century where it’s “okay to be gay” and with the legalising of gay marriage in 2014, being gay can still be seen as being deviant or perhaps even a crime in some societies.

On the contrary, I also don’t necessarily believe in a “gay gene”. I think people eventually realise their sexuality, yet I don’t think it’s necessarily a part of their DNA. I do believe they are born, for example, gay, but may not realise it until much later on until they become aware of that aspect of their life.

This is all relative like I said as everyone has a different take on sexuality and what it means to them. I am no expert at all and I don’t pretend to be. What I gave realised – IT IS NOWHERE NEAR STRAIGHTFORWARD.

You may spend years believing you are one sexual orientation to only later on discover you may in fact be another, or are completely unsure due to a lack of experience. This is an incredibly common and increasing situation for many people, especially young people, today. Over time things may change – and no I’m not using that shitty and quite offensive it’s a “phase” speech – your feelings may have changed. You may have realised you are of a different sexual orientation than that of which you had thought of previously.

If you have any questions from reading this or if there’s something you would like to discuss, please feel free to ask away.