I have no brother mine of whom I share my blood,
Yes, I have sisters four,
Each in bleak of who’s little love I do scorn for each in turn have scorned my own.
I love them, yet I do not care for them.
I am alone.
My friends I have poisoned,
I wouldn’t blame if they cared for me not.
My gloomy demeanour and dark soul,
Pulling them to my doom.
I care for me not.
They deserve better and therefore I must keep distance in the between to reach my ending goal.
I am not good enough.
I no longer have no friendly sister or brother, For I left in this time until I have proved worthy of such happy affections.
But they all had each other and I had none,
Out casted and left shrouded as if their secret shame.
They had their persons, their best friends – their one person.
Yet there had none been left for me to look to.
I have no brother mine,
Yet in the shadows came and fell to Earth a shining burning star whose flame extinguished,
Battled to find his hope.
His light though he sees bleak, I see beautiful and as bright as Aurora’s early rise.
Oh star of morning, star of night,
How you came to try save me from my enduring plight.
I fell for the star I knew I could never have,
Felt guilty of my mind’s foolish intents of love,
I knew it to be strong,
My feelings a mountain reaching the heavens of which that star had fallen to my rescue.
I could not love that star,
For that star had loved her, and even though she had not loved him back – I still did.
And I hated myself even more for it.
My darkness grew and still I had no brother mine to guide me through.
But, oh, how i was blind!
Yes, so very, very blind.
For he was there and still I was continued to be branded the fool.
The star I wish I had not so easily fallen for like I have done demons from before,
Yet I knew this to be a love more powerful than ever before.
I focused and thought of how to win this war.
The war against my darkness for I could not do it alone.
So, I gave my star a chance.
To shoot back of into the sky and reclaim kinship with his fellow mates.
To not let my darkness extinguish his re-lit flame.
Yet still he warmed me and honoured me with his light to shine my way through my darkness,
My ever growing Wonderland.
I wanted to get better.
Isolated myself to let those I had tortured heal,
And in time to let myself heal, too.
No more unhappy thoughts.
Oh, what an idle foolish dream!
And how I screamed for yet I still had not learnt!
I tell the star of my love and knew that it’d still become of none,
For I loved him and he loved her and yet he still did not run.
That is the moment I realised,
To put my feelings aside.
Channel them, give them time to become something new.
Still love, yes, but no longer romantic.
For that star was – is – my best friend.
And whilst I was abandoned, isolated by myself and others, alone in a forbidden forest of truth where trust I had mislaid,
Shone my star.
And that is when I realised,
I finally had a brother mine.
Whether it be reciprocal or not I do not know,
He says it is so but ’tis his nature to do so.
If it be or not be (a reciprocal feeling I have never known) I do not really know.
Maybe now I do,
I must just learn to truly believe,
For him I now must also stand,
For him I must also fight with all my might,
For he is too precious for the universe to lose his special worthy light.
And not one moment had gone by that I did not look up and finally really believe and thanked thee, God,
And even if it not be blood, we still see each other in a familial light,
Now a little spark of starlight burns in my once hollow heart,
And still I say now everyday and every night,
With every breath and piece of my soul:
Thank you, God, for my beautiful brother mine.